A little message -

Merry belated Christmas.

Happy ongoing Hanukkah.

Happy start to Kwanzaa.

Soon to be Happy New Year.

And most importantly - Happy Living, to all of you.

:)

Love,
Me.

"Holy" Shit.

One of my relatively good friends just sent me a text message asking, "If you died today, are you 100% sure you'd go to heaven?". 

If you ever feel compelled to ask me a question like this, don't. It's a quick way to lose a friend. I'm the only one out of my roommates that he sent that to. Implying that I lack faith in a God who's love I deserve. 

A) JUST because I'm a self proclaimed "Messianic Jew", doesn't mean I'm practicing a fake religion. Look into it Mr/Ms Christianity. You'll actually find that I still share the same beliefs as you do, being a Christian. I only practice it differently. I believe in the Messiah. I have full faith in the Lord's plan. I strongly believe in everything happening for a reason. It's pretty much what I live by. 

B) WHO THE HELL am I to say if I'm going to Heaven or not?? I know that I have accepted the Lord J.C. as my savior. I believe in him as the Father, Son, and H.G.. I place all my faith in Him and turn to Him for guidance and aid. I do unto others as I would prefer them do towards me. I prefer to look at the world through the eyes of someone who does good for the sake of doing good. For the sake of helping people that need a little help. For the sake of hoping that perhaps a deed that I do for people or peoples, or creatures, or organizations, or relationships, etc etc... will be seen and received as an example to follow. I do not live my life as a good person for fear  of going to Hell. And if the only reason you chose to be a good person or seek religion is to prevent yourself from being damned eternally... well quite frankly I feel that you've totally missed the point of being Christ-like and living a life that God would be proud of. 

C) It's truly best not to judge. And by you sending me a message like that for no reason whatsoever at 1:30 am ... I'm led to believe that you not only have judged me, but you have taken it upon yourself to analyze your judgement of me and conclude that you, sir, do not think that I would be going to Heaven. 

Here's what you want me to say : I'm an empty soul. I do not have Jesus in my life. I have not accepted Him as my savior. 

Here's the facts : I'm not. I do. I have. And I refuse to allow people like you to assume otherwise just because I do not shove my religion down everyone's throat. Like you do. 

That's it. 

I hope I didn't offend anyone. And if I did... I'm not sorry. This is me. My faith is probably the only part of my life that I'm 100% happy with and sure of. I have more spirit, faith, and love for God in my life than a lot of people I know who claim they do because they go to church every sunday. Which, by the way, was only a tradition started unrightfully by the Catholic church in the 5th century A.D.. Prior to then, EVERYONE observed the Sabbath on Saturdays. The seventh day. Privately. Intimately. On their own. Without any obligatory force coming down upon them to in a sense force them to worship in order to avoid social stigma. Too many people nowadays go to church because they either feel they have to/should... or because its a good social gathering, makes them look good. I'm not saying all people that attend mass regularly do this... But a LOT do. I refuse to allow myself to fall into a pattern of monotony that is in no way DESIRED by me. My private observance of the Sabbath. My weekly readings of specified passages. My decision to celebrate Channuka this year instead of the completely and utterly Christmas. All MY decisions. All things that have made me feel MUCH closer to my religion and to God than I ever could have hoped in my entire life. 

It's fantastic. 

In conclusion, don't you dare come on to me like I'm some lost, hurting, unguided fool who chooses daily to live a life of sin. I don't. Accept it. 

LOVE, 

Me.

My Friends...

Rock harder than any of your friends ever could. 

I am blessed beyond words to have found myself surrounded by the people I have in my life. 

Great, great girl friends who never fail to make me giggle over something dirty, make me smile at something sweet, or help me feel better when things are blue. 

The most loyal set of guy friends who I know will ALWAYS have my back in times of need, times of joy, times of hilarity. 

And a boyfriend who is much, much more than a boyfriend. He is my best friend. And the only person who knows me better than I think I do. 

Thanks to all of you. For everything. 

Some Thoughts

You know how sometimes a thought pops in your head relating to things LONG gone and totally irrelevant to where your life is now? And then you proceed to dwell on that thought for at least 3 minutes wondering, "what is that had ended up completely different?"... well I've been having a lot of those thoughts lately. And I'm going to post them on here because they are all important enough to where I hope to never forget the memories that inspired each of them. 

1.) I miss my mother's side of the family immensely. The Kiernans, while indeed a wily bunch, are the most loving, warm, close-knit example of a family I've ever seen. Regardless of how many of us there are... and how many miles separate all of us... Any time we ALL get together... It's a good time. There are feuds and scandals within the DNA of the family... as there are in all families.. but the best part is that we're able to push them all aside when need be. Any time Garv' or 'Cille are sick and in the hospital... everyone of you Kiernans makes an effort to be there for the rest of us as needed. Whether its a day's ride on a train, or a few hours' spent on a plane... We'll all be there when its needed. I have 15 cousins on that side. 15 of us ranging in age from... ohh.. 7? to around 26?... and while we all have very different interests, aspirations, talents, and goals... we all know how to love one another when brought together and have a lot of fun. I miss you all so much and wish SO dearly that I lived much closer to you all. 

which brings me to my next point... 

2.) What if I had never moved to Texas?! What if I had maintained a life and upbringing in Ridgewood, New Jersey? Well.. I would have graduated from Ridgewood High School... Would I have ever found music? Would I have ever succeeded as well in anything else but music if I had been sent down a different path? Probably not. I got into music because Bear Creek Elem. had an awesome music teacher. I was in plays and in the Choir in Elem. I joined Choir in middle school because it was the cooler option between band, art, and choir. I only pursued solo aspirations in singing because Mrs.Allen, my middle school choir director, encouraged me to sing one of my songs I had been learning in my private voice lessons in front of the whole choir. I did. And the positive responses I got from people I had never even imagined would dare to be seen talking to me... encouraged me! If I could get people to notice me for something that was entertaining, hopefully fun for everyone involved, and more than anything... helped me feel like i was REALLY alive!!.. I would do it. That led me to CHHS choir under the AMAZING and nationally recognized, Danny Detrick. Which led me to many solos... many MANY hours of rehearsal in and out of school. Which led me to All-State competitions that challenged my musicality. Which led me to run for and eventually be elected the President of the CHHS Choir Program. Which inspired to audition for UNTs nationally recognized music school... which I was accepted to. Which led me to study music at UNT for a semester. 

and then quit, haha. 

I didn't really quit... but I decided I'd enjoy music a lot more if I was pushed to pursue it on my own and to make things happen for myself. 

If I had stayed in New Jersey... I wouldn't know ANY of my friends. Except maybe Bryce Francis... since he goes to NYU now. I might have tried harder in high school in order to make it into one of the many Ivy League schools available in the North East. I know one thing is for sure... I would definitely not appreciate the Northeast as much as I do now if I had stayed there through high school. I long to live up there again sometime in the future. We'll have to see about that though. 

3.) If I hadn't moved to Texas... OHMYWORD! I wouldn't know what it's like to be a Texan!! (Which I officially am now. I moved here when I was 9. I am now 19. Suck it easy, y'all). I wouldn't have ever known what it's like to ride the Texas Giant. What it's like to go to a Dallas Cowboys, or Mavericks game. I wouldn't appreciate things like sunsets over the horizon. I wouldn't appreciate a snowfall. I wouldn't appreciate cold fronts in the summer like I do now. I truly don't think I would be anywhere near as at peace with my religion and God as I am now. Texas has a funny way of allowing one's self to open their eyes to EVERYthing. To take longer breaths and walk a bit slower to enjoy the myriad of elements life and this beautiful world has to offer at any given moment in time. There is Texas music. There is Texas food. There is Texas style. There is a Texas way of life that no other state can come close to imitating. While everything is bigger in Texas, I feel that it's also a whole lot better. 

As John Steinbeck once said, "Texas is a state of mind. Texas is an obsession. Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word." 

Amen, brother.

4.) I wonder if YOU still wonder about me. Not regularly... Not for extended periods of time... But just every now and then. If a memory pops up. I wonder if you look back on said memory with a smile and a thought of "What if I'd given her second chance?". I know how happy you are now. Or at least from the pictures I see. And don't get me wrong, I'm beyond pleased with my life today. But, it'd be nice to know if you really ever think about me at all; considering that, once upon a time, you asked that I remain a close and loyal friend to you, regardless of what sort of relationship we found ourselves in. Because I agreed to it. I sacrificed a lot of my happiness for you. I did a lot of favors for you... All the while hoping they may someday be returned. I never really fell out of love with you. And then finally a few years later, we met up. And we both made complete fools out of ourselves. I wish it had been different. I wish we hadn't needed an atmosphere like that to allow ourselves to face each other once again in person without the possibility of awkwardness. What I'm trying to say here in summation, is that I hope I'm a strong enough memory to make it into your thoughts every now and then as you make it into mine. And I hope someday we can regain that friendship we thought we would always have. 

5.) It's funny how people who only met me when I was 15, and were a part of my life daily up until I was only 16 and a half... are still in my life today. Not so much the people that I still see regularly today... But moreso the people who I was only friends with through other people in Lubbock. Who I now receive texts from at least once a week informing me of something silly that happened to them that day. It's invaluable to me to be able to still have really.. REALLY.. heavy and important conversations with people whom I have not seen in almost 3 years. I was a girl without much self esteem or identity when I met these people. And now I'm a young woman, almost halfway through college. I'm in a completely different place in my life. Yet people are still able to see that I am the same Katie that they met way back when. I hope to keep those people in my life for a long time to come. It's nice to know that its possible to maintain connections with people regardless of the distance or time between the two of you. 

6.) I am almost 20 years old and have yet to travel to California. Let alone anywhere out of the U.S.. That needs to change soon. 

7.) I know who I am. Finally. After years of trying to be what I thought people would want me to be and after years of changing myself to keep someone happy... I'm finally at the point where I know for a fact that I have not changed who I am in years, for anyone. And I love my life. And where I am in it. And who I choose to surround myself with. 

8.) I am beyond ready to graduate from college, yet am worried that its going to take me at least 5 years... :( lame. I guess that's to be expected though considering that I'm in my 3rd semester of school... and have already had 3 majors... woops... 

9.) I think about religion, the end of times, heaven/hell, God/Satan, good/evil, sin/virtue... more than anyone I know. I'm sure you're asking "how can you know that?". Trust me. I know. It's like.. every 5 thoughts I have. Kind of ridiculous. But a HUGE part of my life. Kind of annoying that I can't get over thinking about it all. But I guess it's a good thing that I actually think about it. oh well. 

10.) I want nothing more in life than to be a Mom.  

Thats about all. 

I realize this is super random and really only for myself.. but if you got a good chuckle or *hmmm innnteresting* out of it... then hooray! :)

Love love love, 

Katie.

A little bit of This, A little bit of That.

mMmMMMmm...

Hello, guys and gals. 

It's the day before thanksgiving... YAAY!!! 

I look forward to a day that celebrates food and football more than you will probably ever be able to comprehend. 

On the note of Thanksgiving... my Grandmother, my Dad's Mom, is in town for the week from Carlsbad, NM. She's so darn cute. I haven't seen her in 2 years... so it's been really great being able to catch up. I realized earlier that she was 18 when she got married... and had my dad at 19. 

I'M 19. When I brought this to her attention, she simply said, "yea, well... things were a lot different back then. we were all kind of dumb."

... which was comforting? haha. whats the point of this story? well.. while being married would be super duper fun and splendid... I'm HELLA glad that I don't have a kid right now. 

Oh... here's a picture of her, me, and my brother Jimmy today at the Ft.Worth WaterGardens : 

Precious. I know. 

At the Gardens... Jim and I recreated a scene from the Nickelodeon classic, GUTS! I was climbing up this "Mountain" they had... and reached the top as if I had just conquered the Aggro Crag. 

Yea... It was pretty epic. Especially so considering how well I channeled Johnny Drama. 

Moving on... 

uhmmm all my friends this week on facebook decided to post one of those "20 Secrets" things that discreetly allows you to essentially bash every one of your friends that you can't stand.. and then praise the ones that have never wronged you. I considered doing one, myself. But I'm too open of a person to do it without hurting someone's feelings. So I'll just do it here. 

Beth - I love you to death. I've known you less than any of my other girl friends... yet I consider you my BEST. seriously. I know you have an amazing core group of friends from back home who deserve to be ahead of me in the girl friend list... but you're #1 on mine. you're crazy. I love you!

Sabrina - You girl, are a hoot, hahah. I love you so much... but you can be such a dumbass sometimes! Furthermore, I think you're a lot deeper of a person than you let on to be. I'm so happy you've found love in anotha' brotha'. you guys are way cute together. lets be friends for 10 more years to come.. at LEAST. 

Richard - I love you. I've never not loved you since I've known you. And regardless of how many times you may piss me off, I will never stop having love in my heart for you. You're my best friend. I love your smile. Love your laugh. Your voice. Your sense of humor. Your smirks. And the way that you love me. :) I LOVE YOU!!!

Megan - I've known you over 4 years now. Can you believe it!! I know we've been through some amazing times... and some really awful times (all of which are my own fault)... but I still love you, and know that we're gonna have each other in our lives for a long time to come. 

Evan - I love ya, man. That's all there is to say about you, haha. 

All of Richard's Friends (Esp. the Stickmen) - Thanks for being so warm in welcoming me into your little FWC bubble. you guys crack me up and I consider you all to be MY friends at this point, not just "Richard's friends" that I see occasionally. You all Rock. 

Karl - Please never change. 

Mitch, Brad, Russell - While I know none of you probably realize it, you've pushed at the very least, me and beth, beyond the point of caring to reconcile with you. As soon as you start treating us as equals and not making us feel like we're not good enough people for you to hang around... we'll be around a lot more. It's amazing how differently you all have acted towards us since finding your group from church. Im not bashing church, or religion, or anything... I'm only frustrated in feeling like you've been able to walk away from something that was really nice and really fun; Friendship. If you have problems with me, beth, or the way that we live our lives... address them to us... don't just start treating us like lesser people because you disagree with some of our lifestyle choices. I love you guys so much... really... and would love nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were... but at this point, the ball's in your court. 

Ashley Wilkshire - I'M SO GLAD I'VE MET YOU!! Borders brings people together, I swear, haha. I definitely consider you one of my best friends... and love every crazy moment, joke, or story that we've shared. Please stick around. You're great company to keep :)

Chris Bolton - Since I know you read this... I'm going to tell you that I love you and all your glorious ginger-ness. You're a GREAT friend, and person in general. You deserve nothing but warm welcomes and fun times when you move back here. I'm really glad Canada was a bust. :)

-------------------------------------------

Woww... That looks like an old school xanga entry. lame. 

--------------------------------------------

on another note... i just uploaded two more videos to my Youtube page. 

one of which is that song "what we do" that I shared in my last entry.

------------------------------------------

OH. The new Beyonce` CD ROCKS MY FREAKIN LIFE. Not so much the "I Am" CD, but definitely the "Sasha Fierce" CD. "Single Ladies" is of course great... but not as fly as the song, "Diva". It's so ghetto-fab... I can't get enough. 

On a totally different end of the spectrum... The new Taylor Swift CD, FEARLESS is great!! I can relate to just about every song on it. It's so good for drives to and from Denton. Esp if you take 377. :)

K that's it. Happy Thanksgiving to all! GO COWBOYS! and thanks for reading this... if you did. 

LOVE Always, 

Katie :)

Hello, Friends.

No, I'm not quoting J.McCain in my title. 

uhhh let's see let's see.. what's been going on lately?

Well.. B-Obams won.. as I mentioned in my last entry... and American are either (A) TOTALLY pumped about it! or (B) Convinced that the Antichrist has been elected to office and that our country is headed nowhere but the shitter. 

I am definitely more of an (A) kinda gal. My parents on the other hand, WAY more on the (B) side. 

My boyfriend saw a car last week with a "PALIN 2012" sticker on it. 

REALLY? Come on, Repub's... or at least those of you who sport Palin Pride... You've GOTTA understand that as much as you'd love having that woman run for President in 4 years, the Democrats would love it a million times more. You might as well just throw the towel in now.

ASIDE FROM POLITICS...

The new Taylor Swift CD, FEARLESS, was released this past Tuesday, November 11th. And I'm in love with it. :)

It's inspired me to finish writing a song I've been playing with the past few weeks. I finally finished!! Wanna see the lyrics? OKAY!! :)

I think I'm going to call it :

"What I Know"

You and me are falling

into each other. 

We both are blinded by

not knowing how or why

we've been brought together. 

But we do what we do, 

and I know I love you. 

And that's all I need to do. 

What I see's what I need, 

and I see you love me. 

And in that I know this is real. 

We both tried to move slow, 

but sometimes you just can't say no

to what makes you glow. 

And I know I can't let you go. 

So we do what we do,

I'm still here next to you. 

And I'm glad to see we're still true. 

I can't count all the days

or remember all the ways

you have shown and said, "I love you". 

And that's how I can see

I'll have you, and you'll have me

'til eternity. 

And that's all that matters to me.

Mmm, Mmm, 

Mmm, Mmm, 

O0oh, O0oh, 0O0h

Well HOT DAMN that was fun! It looks so pretty typed out instead of scribbled on pieces of a notepad. :)

As soon as I can.. I'm gonna get a recording of this up on the interweb. I have a youtube account... www.youtube.com/katiewelch

I'll either put it on there (assuming its audio AND video) or on here. Or both, perhaps. 

I have another original called "Finding Me". It's kind of lame. But I'll lay those lyrics on you, too while I'm at it. 

"Finding Me"

It started with a wave from a few doors down

a new, handsome boy in this ugly town

with nowhere to go, nobody to see;

for some reason he was looking at me. 

I looked up to the heavens asking, "why?", 

and a big warm smile shone down from the sky. 

He was the first to pull me in so deep

to a love I knew our souls could keep;

with his eyes so clear, shining and bright, 

he lit up my world on those dark summer nights. 

We laughed so hard and together were free. 

Because of him I finally found me. 

Word got around about us two. 

We tried to hide but everyone knew

we were two young fools, falling in love, 

each moment a gift from up above. 

With nothing but love and time to kill, 

we thought forever would be God's will. 

'Cause he showed me love and he gave me life. 

He held me close with all his might

and he spoke so soft, gentle, and sweet;

the person I wish the world could meet. 

We laughed so hard and together were free. 

Because of him I finally found me. 

Fall was right around the bend, 

inside we knew it would be the end

and in the blink of an eye, it was suddenly here;

he was leavin' for a school nowhere near. 

I helped him pack his life away

and prayed so hard for him to stay. 

It ended with a kiss from a few doors down. 

My handsome boy was leaving this town

with miles to go, the world to see, 

leaving behind nothing... but me. 

WOOO. The vid of that song is already up on my youtube. Ch-ch-check it out. 

Already, friends. I realize this was a really random posting, but I guess I got something accomplished : making a "hard" copy of my songs. Assuming of course that the internet will remain existent for a long time to come. 

Love Love, 

Me.

Oh, Good Morning, President-Elect Obama!

Barack Hussein Obama is the President-Elect of the United States of America.

I woke up this morning and had to pinch myself to be sure that his election wasn't a big dream. 

Unfortunately I have seen nothing but negativity coming from McCain supporters. Some that I am very close to.. and some that i barely know at all. i understand that everyone has their own opinions and right to voice them.. but I've got a big problem with people making totally unwarranted claims about our nation being doomed... and over... and done as we know it. so here's a little piece of my mind.. 

FIRST of all.. I personally could not be happier with what happened last night. I think that's probably pretty obvious if any of you have talked to me even once over the past 6 months. 

SECOND of all.. I completely understand that there are a LOT... and a lot MORE than I realized... young people out there who did not vote for barack obama. who did not support him. who tried everything that they could to make sure that he didn't win. 

THIRD... he DID win though. and by a LOT. which leads me to bringing up the point that apparently there were a lot more people out there ready for REAL change... full of REAL hope for a NEW nation. not a bad nation. not a scary nation. not a nation that is 'doomed'.. or 'dead'... or 'over'. a nation where EVERYONE... republican, democratic, liberal, conservative, moderate, hell - green party, can, should, and hopefully WILL unite around the idea that this nation NEEDS to be saved. and the person who i think is most likely to get that ball rolling quicker... is obviously our new president-elect. nothing against mccain... i mean.. he's probably a really cool guy in reality.. and yes... he WAS one of the most openly moderate politicians that our nation has ever known. but he ISN'T anymore. and if he IS... he didn't give a damn to maintain that image and to keep his beliefs true and out front. instead... he changed who he was for the sake of politics.. for the sake of an election. he molded himself into a character. OH... and don't EVEN get me started on Sarah Palin. who btw WASN'T his first choice for the VP ticket. however... of course... the republican party and his advisors thought it'd be GREAT to get a woman in there to steal all of the lost hilary votes... the votes from some of the most VAPID women this nation has. now i'm not saying that ALL hilary supporters are of this nature... bc there are some who supported her for her beliefs and platform rather than just because she was a woman. but there were a LOT of women who as soon as barack won the ticket for President... could not WAIT to jump the boat and vote against him out of spite. OH... yea.. and then S-Pal came along.. and they had a fucking FIELD day!! a WOMAN! a WOMAN who wouldn't even DARE to consider YOUR rights as a woman to dictate what you choose to do with your body in the case of an unplanned pregnancy. a woman who couldn't name ONE of the supreme court justices. a woman who was the mayor of a town 5,000 people large... and managed to screw that up by approving a 15 million dollar project to build the town a new ice skating rink. this all happening when wasilla's YEARLY budget is only 20 million!!... oh yea.. and that rink never happened... bc she approved the whole thing before making absolutely sure that the land was going be hers to use for this thing. so the citizens ended up having to pay what averaged out to be about 200 dollars per person to make up for all of the legal fees due after the lost battle for this thing. a woman who didn't know what the bush doctrine is. a woman who couldn't even answer correctly in an interview what the job of the Vice President IS!! a woman who LEGITIMATELY thought that by living in alaska and being able to "see Russia from [her] own backyard" was by FAR enough foreign policy experience to qualify her for the job of 2nd in command in the United States. i'm sorry... but sarah palin scares me a LOT more than Barack Hussein Obama. 

If you want to leave America... go for it. I quite frankly would rather not share the same public goods with people who are too close minded and hard headed to back our president, regardless of his race, age, and platforms. he is our LEADER. NOT our RULER. if you think moving to another country is going to help you out... I won't be the first person i bet to tell you that America is probably one of the LEAST liberal nations in the world. any other country you go to.. espECially canada is going to be a hell of a lot more liberal than the united states of america will EVER be. 

so hold on to your guns... i betcha you're NOT gonna lose them. hold on to your faith.. i PROMISE you're not going to have to change YOUR ideas and beliefs just because the president is a black man who's middle name, Hussein, means "handsome one" (SCARY, right??? ... :\). Hold on to your unplanned pregnancy... nobody's going to MAKE you have an abortion. Hold on to your circle of friends that would NEVER EVER even consider bringing a gay person into the mix. you don't HAVE to become bff with the gays. 

HOLD ON TO YOUR BELIEFS! thats why america is so great!! you can be super proud of any and everything that you believe in... and there's nothing that anybody else can do about it. if you don't think that homosexuality is "right" or "good"... that's your opinion. stay away from the gays.. they sure as shit don't want to bother you. Let the people who are "sinners" in your eyes... sin. if that's the path they so choose to take in life... its THEIRS. you CANNOT tell them what to do or how to live. bc if ANYONE tried to turn around on YOU and tell YOU what to do... well.. that wouldn't be fair now, would it?

I must finish this rant in saying that our nation is in a very rough spot right now. anyone could tell you that. and regardless of who would have won the presidency... change WOULD be on the way. but i feel that 4 years of mccain is a lot closer to 4 more years of bush than 4 years of Obama would EVER be. 

so just embrace what we've done. embrace our country. embrace your neighbor. more than anything what we need right now is unity and love for our nation.. regardless of whether or not you're very fond of the president-elect. McCain's slogan became "country first"... now.. if you were a mccain supporter.. and you even DARE to reject and complain and shit on the fact that our president to be is Barack Obama and that our nation is headed in a new dircetion... well that, "my friends", isn't exactly putting the COUNTRY first, is it?

That's all. 

I'm just voicing my opinion. I'm glad this whole thing is over.. and I'm excited to see where Barack Obama can take us. 

Sincerely American, 
Katie

P.s... if you didn't even VOTE in this election... PLEASE don't think you have the right to complain about anything. kthx. :)